The Family

The Family

(http://www.victorialaw.ca/practice/family)

 

A.      Definition of Family & Marriage (Philippine Constitution and Family Code of the Philippines)

The Philippine Constitution recognizes that the basic foundation of the Filipino nation is the Filipino family. Hence, the State shall strengthen its solidarity and promote its total development, particularly defending the following:

1.       Marriage as an inviolable social institution;

2.       Rights of spouses to found a family;

3.       Right of children to assistance (such as proper care, nutrition, neglect, abuse, cruelty, exploitation, etc.);

4.       Right of a family to family living wage and income; and

5.       Rights of families or family associations to participate in planning and policies/programs implementation.

And as stated by the Philippine Family Code, family relations are governed by law and no custom, practice or agreement destructive of the family shall be recognized or given effect.

Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life.

Reflection:

        In the Book of Genesis of the Bible, when God created man, He also created woman out of the rib of man to become man’s wife. Man shall leave his father and mother and join his wife, and they shall become one flesh. So from the spiritual view alone, we can already infer that God intended humans to form their own family and multiply. Similarly, the Philippine, as a State, also recognizes that the basic foundation of the Philippine nation or society is family.

        Formation of a family begins with the union of a man and a woman called marriage. Marriage is sacred. Both man and woman must be capable and responsible enough before marrying. It should start from knowing each other well and all the way to fully understanding and accepting each other’s condition, including status in life, weaknesses and differences. Once this process is by-passed, the tendency is a situation resulting to failure of marriage and broken family which ultimately leads to broken nation/society. We see this phenomenon happening in our society every now and then. Family is broken because of incompatibilities between couples. Even our respected leaders and idolized figures in the society experience this. Often, children are the ones suffering the most.

As specified by the Philippine Constitution, the State is responsible for promoting a family’s total development and strengthening the solidarity of a family. Yes, but I personally believe that the primary responsible for these are the husbands and wives themselves, while the State is just secondarily responsible. Nonetheless, no matter how the government does its best to protect the rights of spouses, children, family and family associations, there seems to be a lot of improvements still needed to ensure adequate assistance are provided to children and living wage or income are received by families. We often hear news about child exploitation, abandonment, abuse and malnutrition. It appears that the efforts of government are not enough to control these social problems. But we cannot put the blame to the government alone. We should also remember that the root cause of these problems often originate from irresponsible parents.

(http://www.perryscale.com/various-scales.htm)

 

B.      Rights and Obligations of Between Husband and Wife

 

Title III of the Philippine Family Code defines the rights and obligations between a husband and a wife. It is stated there that the husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support. Given this, both spouses have the right and duty to manage household and are jointly responsible for the support of the family.

Reflection:

Although the law clearly states the rights and obligations between a husband and a wife, ironically there are a lot of couples in our society who don’t live together, who cheat each other and who live independently of each other’s help and support. Some of them are well known in our society, and sad to say, they are even being idolized by the people, instead of being condemned or held liable for their actions. There are also cases where responsibilities are solely shouldered by one of the spouses. Families are abandoned either by the mother or the father, resulting to single parent scenario.

 

 (http://owen.ca.uky.edu/Scattering_Kindness)

 

C.      Parental Authority

 

Title IX of the Philippine Family Code talks about parental authority. Natural rights and duty of parents over the person and property of their unemancipated children are the basis of parental authority and shall include the caring for and rearing for civic consciousness, efficiency and development of children moral, mental and physical character and well-being. The father and the mother shall jointly exercise parental authority over the persons of their common children, and in case of disagreement, the father’s decision shall prevail. In return, children are shall always observe respect and reverence towards their parents and obey them. Parents have the rights and duties, among others, to support, educate, give love, advice, provide moral and spiritual guidance, inculcate values, demand respect and impose discipline.

Reflection:

Similarly, in the Bible, God told Eve that her desire will be for her husband, Adam, and Adam will rule over Eve. That’s why in our society and even in our law, the husband’s decision shall ultimately prevail over that of the wife in case of disagreement in parental authority. In the Philippine law, the parents are expected to provide all the needs of the children from physiological, safety, intellectual, emotional up to moral and spiritual needs. These are the responsibilities of the parents from birth of the children up to the time that children are emancipated. It is from the parents that children first learn about values. In return, the parents have the authority over their children to command respect, obedience and discipline. Given this, one can infer that it is hard to become parents because the responsibilities attached are seriously heavy, and becoming parents demands both husband and wife to be selfless for the sake of their children.

Overall Reflection:

Having own family and being a parent is a lifelong endeavor of every human. It entails great duties and responsibilities, whether natural or provided by law. It is through the union of a husband and wife that another generation is born and nurtured, and the cycle just continues to go on, so it is critical that the foundation of a family must be strong enough to withstand various challenges. Both husband and wife must devote time, energy, resources and lives to form a strong family foundation. But unfortunately, many in the society don’t realize that. Many simply take marriage lightly without understanding what family building is all about. They don’t practice family planning. Often, they are not prepared nor ready to handle responsibilities (either psychological or financially unprepared). Or worse, some just satisfy their sexual desires even outside of wedlock which results to unwanted pregnancies that eventually leads to poverty and later on problem of the entire society. In the absence of parental guidance, children don’t fully learn what is right from wrong, which becomes their cause to commit indecent or sometimes felonious acts. Sometimes, due to lack of education, the parents themselves do not know what is right and wrong. Then, the cycle continues, just like a domino effect. So the best way to solve the problem of the society is, perhaps, to start the assessment from our own families. If we see gaps in the responsibilities being either the husband, wife or children, let’s start filling-in those gaps to avoid bigger problems in the future that may eventually become part of our nation/society’s problem. That way, we can be good example to others and influence them to live the same way that we do. On the part of the government, I think the government should focus on educating people because lack of proper education is one of the perennial problems of the society that contributes to family failures.

 

 References:

1.       Texts

        http://laws.chanrobles.com/otherlaws/1_otherlaws.php?id=1

       http://www.chanrobles.com/executiveorders/1987/executiveorderno209-1987.html#.U6-aTLtZqW8

 

2.    Images 

        http://www.victorialaw.ca/practice/family

       http://www.perryscale.com/various-scales.htm

        http://owen.ca.uky.edu/Scattering_Kindness

 

 

 

 

Juggling the Demands of God, Family and Work

Juggling the Demands of God, Family and Work

(www.entrepreneurmomnow.com)

                How does a person measure his/her success? Is it on the amount of wealth and material things that he/she possesses? The popularity that he/she gains? Or how about the job positions that he/she achieves? When I was young, I would always associate success to wealth, popularity and job positions. But as I grow up and get older, I gradually begin to realize that the true meaning of success lies in the capacity of a person to balance the different aspects/facets of his/her life. This is achieved by first determining our own overall purpose, goal, mission and vision in life, then to be followed by proper prioritization of things to do, given scarce resources like time, money and opportunity.

 

(www.pulse2.com)

 

In a talk entitled “Juggling the Demands of God, Family and Work” conducted by Mr. Pat Gelsinger in May 2003 (Mr. Gelsinger was the Senior Vice President and Chief Technology Officer of Intel Corporation at that time), he shared how his life transformed into a worthy Christian life. Then he focused on sharing his 6 principles on how he balanced his professional (work), personal (family) and spiritual (God) lives, as follow:

1.       Develop a Personal Mission Statement and Goals for your life.

2.       Prioritize your personal time and your life.

3.       Prioritize your personal relationships and your family time.

4.       Work hard – be a great employee.

5.       Have mentors in your life.

6.       Be a clear witness.

 

I personally agree with Mr. Gelsinger’s principles. In order to achieve a balanced life, one must begin with his/her own personal mission statement and goals in life. This first step is important because setting goals/determining one’s mission in life will determine the ultimate path/direction that one is going to take. All of a person’s action will just follow on the said path/direction. It’s like the garbage-in, garbage-out principle. If the goals in life of a person are not clear to him, his actions will definitely become also unclear which will eventually lead into waste. Of course, such goals in a person’s life is greatly influenced by his/her values and environment which includes his/her family and peers. Second is prioritizing one’s personal time and life. We are created with own mind, freedom and feelings. We cannot give what we don’t have. So it is very important that we value first and satisfy our personal time and life before we can value others because, otherwise, we’ll lose ourselves and get lost from our goals in life. Having personal time and life may be as simple as satisfying one’s food cravings, purchasing desent clothes, etc. But for me, there has no other wiser activity than to spend personal time and life by praying to God because it is through praying that we achieve true inner peace. Third, after satisfying personal time and life, the next to be prioritized is personal relationships and family time. Many are having difficulties finding time for family. Either a person spends too much time for himself/herself or too much time working without realizing that he/she is already neglecting his/her family. As we all know, family is the basic foundation of the society. If a family is broken simply because of one’s lack of time, the society becomes broken too. A good interrelationship achieves emotional rewards. Fourth, a person must work hard to become a great employee. It is in working that a person maximizes his/her potential as a human given that his/her intelligence, skills and capacity are being put into the test and sharpened. In return, through working, a person receives financial reward. Working hard not only brings goodness to oneself in terms of good pay and higher job position but also goodness to the society as a whole since a person working hard contributes to productivity and quality goods and services. Fifth, we need to have the right mentors in life. This means that we need to find the mentor which will best suit our set goals in life. Why? It is because we don’t know everything in life, and we cannot be an expert in everything. We need others’ wisdom for we learn not only from our own experiences but also from others’ experiences, as well. One of the benefits of a mentor/coach in life is having someone who can provide feedback on whether we are still living in the right path or not. And the last one is being a clear witness on his/her own public and personal life. Be ready to be accountable for one’s own action and share own experience to others to inspire others.

 

(www.manifestdaily.com)

What does this mean then? Does an average person have more difficulties than a more capable or talented person in coping with commitments to God and family? And does an average person need to work even harder to be great employees, making achieving balance impossible for the average person? I don’t think so… because everyone, regardless of capabilities and talents, can achieve a balanced life as long as his/her goals in life are clear, and he/she knows how to prioritize. Even if a person is more capable or talented or even works harder, but if he/she just focuses on work and neglects his/her family and God, he/she will still fail to achieve a balanced life. Achieving a balanced life is a great challenge. The more power a person has, the more responsibilities and expectations he/she has, therefore, it becomes more difficult for him/her to achieve a balanced life.

Sometimes, achieving a balanced life has nothing to do on whether a person is just an average person or a person who is more capable or talented. The struggle could be caused probably by wrong decisions in life, such as choosing the wrong profession. Such wrong decisions could have resulted from failure to set clear goals in life. One can probably know that he/she has chosen the right profession if he/she is happy doing the tasks assigned to that profession, and that his/her outputs are productive yet not causing toll on his/her personal and spiritual time (i.e., he/she is able to contribute quality outputs and yet he/she still has time to rest and to spend for his/her family and God.)

At the end of the day, a person cannot just focus on one thing and forget the others because he/she may lose other equally important aspects of his/her life. As Mr. Gelsinger told his audience in his talk, the challenge for a person is on how he will use and allocate his/her 16 hours of awake time each day to God, family and work.

 

References:

1.       Text

“Juggling the Demands of God, Family and Work” by Pat Gelsinger, produced by Roger Gehring & Bernie Dehler

2.       Images

       www.entreprenuermomnow.com

       www.pulse2.com

www.manifestdaily.com

 

 

 



Called to Do God's Work

 

Called to Do God’s Work

What is work? There are many definitions for “work”. As defined by Miriam-Webster Dictionary, work is “1: activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something: a. sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result; b. the labor, task or duty that is one’s accustomed means of livelihood; c. a specific task, duty or function, or assignment often being a part of or phase of some larger activity…” In this journal, I would like to briefly discuss about work that is referring to labor, task or duty linked to the means of livelihood.

 



(www.larimerworkforce.org)

 People think of work in different point of views:

 

1.       Work as Job

“Study hard in order to get good job in the future” – this is what we were taught when we were young since good job means good pay also. I definitely agree that people need to work in order to earn a living to feed their family and buy their needs and wants. But, if we view work as just being equivalent to job, tendency is that we just want to satisfy our physiological and safety needs, the first 2 lowest levels in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, since we are only valuing work for being the source of economic income and eventually security (financial, health, etc.). There is nothing wrong with this mentality, except that there is much greater possibility of individualism and selfishness among humans if we only think work as equivalent to job because eventually people tend to fall into the sense of “survival of the fittest”. There is no much sense of involvement and self-initiatives among workers, as long as they are being paid and secured of tenure. In addition, employers think that the only motivation of workers is higher pay regardless of the hazards the work may cause to the workers.

 

2.       Work as Career

When we view work as equivalent to career, we are satisfying 2 higher levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs which are belongingness and esteem. Here, we view work as our source of pride and leadership. We aspire for the highest job positions that we can get because we want to be identified by the society for our achievements and capabilities, hence we strive to be more competent and skillful. Of course, higher achievements also translate to higher pay. The society may benefit if we think this way because better output (products and services) will result. However, similar to number 1 above, the possibility of individualism and selfishness among humans is still not answered by this mentality since workers may fight among themselves and pull each other down, just to be highlighted and get to the top of the companies to satisfy their esteem.

3.       Work as Vocation and Giving 

For me, thinking work as a vocation and as a way of giving is the most important mentality of all because with this, we can ultimately satisfy the highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. We can achieve self-actualization if we only work not only for the benefit of one’s self but also for the benefit of others because the tendency is for us to naturally perform to the best that we can without any greed, hesitation nor anxiety for the love and benefit of others. We view work as a way to deliver our service to others. In return, we gain everything. We earn the income, position, respect, and most of all, love of others. The sense of fulfillment in providing service to others is greater than the economic return. When we serve others through work, we help contribute to the growth of the society, thus, we are effectively serving God at all. 

In fact, if we will consult what the Bible is teaching, we can find out there is really a higher and divine purpose on why man needs to work. In the Book of Genesis, it is stated that God created man to cultivate the ground. The very purpose why human beings exist is because God has created them to serve Him by taking care of all His creations – environment, living creatures, including animals and especially fellow human beings. Man has been called by God to His work; therefore, we can conclude that man should be serving not himself alone but God, who is man’s one and only master. This idea is further supported by Jesus Christ when He taught His disciples that “no servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other, you cannot serve God and wealth.” (Luke 16:3)

 

(www.thedoctorscoach.co.uk)

I believe that it’s hard to work. Who wants burden and hardships, right? But instead of complaining and cursing work, I suggest 2 ways in order to appreciate work:

1.       Understand the purpose why man needs to work and what work can bring to the society. By doing work, we can preserve the beauty of nature and improve human lives through abundant high-quality goods and services. Without work, man will be idle and useless. But through work, man is dignified since the full potential of being a human is maximized only by doing work because humans are created by God primarily to work.

2.       Find balance between work and life. With technologies become more advanced, market competition becomes more intense, and so do workload of employees become even more burdensome. In times like this, it is very advisable that workers find time to rest, spend quality time with families and interact with other social beings. The key is proper time management. Working without rest makes a worker dull, thus, unproductive in the long run. Overwork also produces harm to the health of workers and reduces the workers’ appetite and motivation towards work.

 To summarize, I consider work sacred. People should understand the rationale behind work and assess how they value work, so they can appreciate work. If people can appreciate work, they will be able to work honestly and zealously with all their hearts and minds, treating work as a vocation and a way of giving to others. Most importantly, they will ultimately discover that by doing work, God is being served and glorified.

 

References:

1.       Texts 

http://i.word.com/idictionary/work

Luke 16:3 – New American Standard Bible 

2.       Images 

www.larimerworkforce.org

www.thedoctorscoach.co.uk

Vocation of the Business Leader

contactvirginmedia.com

There are various reasons why people engage in business activities.  Majority wants to get rich (personal profit first before welfare of others), but only few considers doing business for the genuine love and service to others (welfare of others first before personal profit). Truly, I agree that the primary cause of doing business is in order to earn profits; otherwise, that endeavor could have been called a charity, instead. There is nothing wrong to that. However, what I don’t agree is in the practice of many businessmen who do not care about the welfare of others and the environment just for the sake of enriching themselves. But why this is happening? The “Vocation of the Business Leader”, a reflection paper of the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, clearly answers this question.

The said reflection paper tells us that the foundational ethical principles that businessmen should consider are human dignity and the common good. The effects of globalization, communication technologies and financialization produce problems alongside their benefits, such as inequality, economic dislocation, information overload, financial instability and others that lead away from serving the common. These obstacles come in different forms – lack of rule of law, corruption, tendencies towards greed, poor stewardship of resources and leading a “divided” life. I absolutely agree to that because they are really happening in the society across the globe now.  In fact, people are becoming more and more indulged in earthly affairs which separate them further from God. People forgot that the very purpose why we are existing on Earth is because our task is to take care of the God’s creation – environment and one another. Sad to say, there are businessmen who directly violate this mandate, and instead they destroy the environment and exploit other people by taking advantage of their limitations and weaknesses in lives. Great examples are the emission of industrial wastes and propagation of human trafficking, all for the sake of personal monetary gain.

The reflection paper identifies 3 stages which can be explored to find out if the foundational principles for business are being followed – seeing, judging and acting. Seeing – We are all witnesses that the world of business is complicated by factors of both good and evil. Conflicts of interests among business owners (wealth maximization), employees (attitudes of entitlement) and consumers (demands of goods and services at the lowest possible price) further lead the society away from the common good. Judging – Businessmen must make decisions based on the foundational principles of human dignity and common good (producing goods and services truly beneficial to humans, treating employees as co-entrepreneurs rather than slaves, etc.). Acting – Businessmen should be able to harmonize the practice of business with the teachings of God. Profits, just like money, is a good servant rather than a master. They must remember that the more they receive, they more is expected from them to be given.

Having those things considered, at my own capacity, the very least that I can do is to become more discriminate in idolizing top businessmen being lauded by the world. They may be financially successful but that does not necessarily mean that they are righteous businessmen. I would rather idolize those businessmen who are not in the top list of richest persons in the society, but are well known to have greater concern over the welfare of their customers, employees and environment. As such, I will also be more discriminate in patronizing products and services available in the market.

References:

1. Text

    

   “Vocation of the Business Leader” – The Vatican – Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace

2. Image

   contactvirginmedia.com

St. John Baptist De La Salle

 

 

(neatnik2009.wordpress.com)

 

Nowadays, chances of meeting a person, who will be able to sacrifice their wealth, comfort, name and even life for the benefit of others without expecting anything in return as compensation, is getting rarer each day. You are fortunate enough, if you can name at least 5 persons, excluding laypeople. It is quite resentful that as technology becomes more advanced, so do people become even more materialistic and indifferent to one another as time passes by.

 

An ordinary man with an extraordinary accomplishment. This is how I would like to simply characterize St. John Baptist De La Salle after watching the film entitled “Who Are My Own” and doing some quick web research. St. La Salle was born in Rheims, France in 1651. Coming from a wealthy family, St. La Salle was able to enter a seminary and was ordained priest in 1678. He was concerned that during his time, only rich people could afford an education, and that Christian-oriented schools for the working class and the poor were lacking in the society. Giving up his wealth, he began his noble apostolic mission of educating the poor and establishing free schools that led to the founding of the Brothers of Christian Schools in 1680. Among his greatest contributions include the simultaneous method of teaching, teacher training schools and schools for young criminals who were convicted in civil courts. He died on the Good Friday of 1719 and was canonized in 1900. Due to his great contributions in education, he consequently became the patron saint of all teachers.

St. La Salle can be considered as a risk taker, an innovator, a servant-leader and a mentor. He was an example of a person whose Christian faith was being put into practice. As a risk taker, he did not hesitate to give up his wealth and live in poverty without an assurance that his noble mission would succeed. As an innovator, he revolutionized the method of teaching despite of major oppositions from influential people in the society. He followed Jesus Christ as his example when he led school masters into his noble mission of fearlessly serving the least in the society. In my own opinion, St. La Salle exhibited what Lao Tzu has taught “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.” Needless to say, he taught not only the children of France, but also the society as a whole that “Real wealth is the ability to think and to feel and not to be possessed by possessions.” (“Who Are My Own”)

St. La Salle taught the society that knowledge is the key for freedom from darkness since it is the light which leads to brighter place, peace and human fraternity. (“Who Are My Own”) But sad to say, the social problem that existed during the time of St. La Salle still continues to exist in the modern times. Many people are still held captives by the darkness which symbolizes poverty, hopelessness and desperation. Education is still a privilege rather than a right. And as long as this social problem persists, I believe that we shall continue St. La Salle’s mission and live by his example. St. La Salle proved the society that poverty is not an excuse nor a hindrance in order to help others regardless of social class. True service to others means not expecting something in return as compensation. In this regard, I personally believe that St. La Salle’s teachings may also be adopted as a great framework in conducting businesses – thinking of and reaching out for others beyond obtaining personal gains/profits.

Reflecting further on St. La Salle’s accomplishments, I cannot help but imagine what life could have been had St. La Salle given up his noble mission and succumb to his failures and frustrations. It was clearly shown in the film that even his trusted school masters turned away from him and desserted him. Perhaps, that was the most challenging and difficult part of his mission. But obviously, that incidence did not stop St. La Salle from fulfilling his noble dream of helping others escape the darkness. How I wish, I can also possess such great spirit!

 

 

 (http://saints.sqpn.com)

 

St. La Salle may have already passed away several centuries ago, but his social teachings that helped revolutionize the way of educating people will forever live in our hearts.

Animo La Salle!

 

“Real wealth is the ability to think and to feel, not to be possessed by possessions; to give, to receive, to reason, to fair. Children know this; there is no class distinction among men. If i can open their minds and let the sun enter in, if a lot of men can do this, if we can reach beyond the boundaries marked rich and poor, if we can open their minds to this light, we’ll become a brighter place, closer to peace, closer to human fraternity.” (Last quote from “Who Are My Own”)

 

References:

 

1. Texts

www.dlsud.edu.ph/about/stlasalle.htm

“Who Are My Own” – A film on the Life of St. John Baptist De La Salle, directed by Mr. Luis Cesar Amadori

 

1. Images

http://neatnik2009.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/feast-of-st-john-baptist-de-la-salle-april-7/

http://saints.sqpn.com/wp-content/uploads/img-Siant-John-Baptist-de-la-Salle.jpg